Recently, I had the pleasure of spending an evening with a friend and colleague of mine - Maddy Swinnen. Maddy is a Well Being and Business coach (http://www.Happinex.org) with a Masters in Positive Psychology and an MBA. She is also a mom who has built a successful business helping others while still keeping her family first priority. That alone makes her an amazing woman. Despite the fact that it is often difficult to take time out in our busy lives, we spent a few hours discussing 'flow' and it was truly fascinating.
Maggie described flow as a state of intense absorption and involvement with the present moment, where people expand their mind and body, based on the research insights of flow guru Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. As writing is my passion, the concept of flow for me usually equates to creative expression. My own definition of flow is 'a state of heightened awareness that allows for imaginative freedom and inspired thought'. Although it seems easier to get into flow when doing a task that challenges us to use and expand our skill-set, I also learned that we can get into a state of flow when even doing small daily activities when we choose to be attentive. Although I has always 'known' this, Maddy brought this idea to the forefront of my awareness. Throughout our discussion, we often chose different terminology or experiences, but we agreed on the commonalities of what 'being in flow' feels like and the benefits that being in flow can provide for personal well-being.
When asked, many people describe this state of being as 'having everything going their way'. It has been characterized with feelings of joy, peace, and appreciation. When experiencing flow during different activities, many talk of losing track of time, and that if disrupted during such a pleasing activity and state, they feel almost disoriented for a moment. I shared my own experiences with Maddy of how I have had this disorientation following interruptions while I was writing and compared it to the breaking of a hypnotic trance. Even though one can be completely aware of their surroundings, a disruption while in this state can cause a sensation of being startled. Through the sensory inputs does flow begin. Our sensory input creates the emotional state, which allows for the creative imagination to become playful and to provide inspired thoughts and images. This is 'the way of the artist'.
Obviously then, learning how to increase flow in our lives is a goal worth striving for. The benefits are many - improved health, mental clarity, calmness of mind and spirit, joy, and overall well-being. It stands to reason that if concentration and focus lead to flow, exercises such as simple meditations would be a good first step towards preparing for a state of flow. Physical activity also aids in the development of flow. Many athletes have experiences inspired 'flashes' while running or exercising. A quiet walk everyday allows not only for your physical well-being, but this inner reflection can also prepare us to arrive quicker into a state of flow when doing a more challenging task. You just need to take the time out to 'stop and smell the roses', as the saying goes. I am thankful that Maddy and I took that time together. It brought me to my creative flow, and what an amazing place that is to be. Thank you Maddy!
Showing posts with label awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awareness. Show all posts
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Calling All Teachers - Pay Attention Or You could Be in Detention!
I have had the wonderful pleasure to be able to work with students in classrooms, after school programs, and on playgrounds for a number of years. I have had more great days than not-so great days. As a parent and as an educator, I have had my share of situations that required discipline for behavior issues. I may not be an expert, but I have found a number of things that do work and that do not. The most important thing that does NOT work is public humiliation of students or children in any setting or with any forms of physical punishment. This, many would say is common sense; yet this week, I have heard stories from parents in which physical 'discomfort' is a 'discipline policy' in some local schools. New to Florida and the US, perhaps things are done differently here and my experiences in Canada have 'softened' my approach; but to me any form of physical or mental humiliation is not acceptable.
This past week, I have heard of a local school here in Florida that has a 'desk on the back' form of discipline. The concept behind it is based on the idea that children must carry everything they own and use at school (from textbooks to pencils) back and forth in their backpacks for a minimum period of one week. The idea of the 'discomfort' is to instill in the child that 'bad' behavior is not acceptable and that the discomfort of lugging everything will create the memory and habit to behave more appropriately the next time. If the lesson is not learned within one week, then the discipline is extended for two weeks and so on.
When I first heard this, I literally cringed. I pictured my own child walking home bent over from the weight of his backpack the beginning of the year when he took his textbooks home. He only has a short distance from the bus stop, but if he had to do that for even a week straight - my fear of physical damage to his posture and back would cause me to drive him daily and approach the school about other options. My advice to any teacher who uses this form of discipline is to be very careful - you are walking on very thin ice here on the boarder of corporal punishment. Instilling pain on children - or anyone - is not acceptable behavior. As other parents realize this practice is taking place, I assure you the repercussions for your particular location will not be pleasant. I have seen many upset students, but they do not compare to upset parents. Issues like these can not only have parents show up in your front office, but also lawyers.
Here are a few facts to keep in mind with regard to using this type of discipline:
- 10,000 injuries were caused by heavy backpacks in 2005
- 15% or less of the students body weight is the MOST a backpack should weigh
- Students aged 7 to 10 are the host high risk group for injuries from stress on the spine
"Heavy backpacks can distort the natural curves in the middle and lower back causing muscle strain and irritation to the spine, joints and ribcage...Physical Therapist, Missy Caywood said that if children are not careful, these injuries would follow into adulthood and could remain permanent" (KUJH-TV News, University of Kansas, 11/08/06)
As an educator, I realize that discipline is an area that is difficult for teachers. Everyday, the rules change. However, if you simply take the time out to be more aware, you will often find that your classroom runs smoother. If you enter a behavior situation with calmness, understanding and humor, you can usually get your point across and not adversely affect the situation. Use your common sense. I remember substituting in a school a few years ago, and watching situations develop with a particular student day after day. The teacher had enough, and was getting to the end of her rope. I asked if I could have a few moments with the student, and she agreed. I sat next to his desk and asked him why he was so upset. After the 'Everybody picks on me and hates me', I took the time to ask who 'everybody' was. 'Everybody' was one other student in another classroom. I humorously asked him if he could project his anger through concrete walls and when he looked at me like I was nuts, I told him that was his problem. Every time he was trying to get back at the other kid, his anger was hitting the teacher and him and causing an argument. I suggested he either learn telekinesis or mention the situation with the other student to his teacher. Following that discussion, he was much more calm, he did not retaliate the other student involved, and he learned to speak up not scream out. The teacher, was amazed at how easy it was to change the behavior - no detention, no yelling, no humiliation - just communication and humor.
Speaking of detention - there is an effective way to use detention and many not-so-effective ways to use detention. I have heard of students being required as part of their detention to clean garbage from the school yard. This, in itself, may seem like it is a win-win situation, but I have been on the school yard and watched what can happen with this form of discipline. Often, the students are chastised and humiliated by their peers. They are made fun of, called names, and be-littled. To me, is no different than public humiliations from hundreds of years ago when people were made public spectacles by throwing rotten fruit and vegetables at them. This leaves mental scars on our children and that is not acceptable either. Further, it can create a behavior boomerang. Students can feel belittled, so they act out even more with anger at being humiliated in the first place. If it continues, the 'bad' behavior is re-inforced and becomes a permanent habit. Not good. Use detention to get extra work done - on areas that the student requires help in. That means relationship building skills and foundations too - not just math. As a teacher, it is your responsibility to distinguish the needs of your students and supply the resources. That was, I hope, the passion and reason you became a teacher to begin with. There are more resources available to teachers now than ever before - use them.
These ideas do not always work, I realize, and I am not making light of situations. Violence in classrooms does occur, and teachers need to be prepared for that. However, often if the educator is very aware and time is taken when the 'small stuff' starts, discipline can often be very easy. If an educator takes the time to learn about awareness in themselves, they can often create amazing learning settings with positive outcomes. There also needs to be continuous communication - and not just be email and 'open house' nights. Parents and teachers need to talk face-to-face. Whenever I have been asked by parents about how I 'get along so well' with kids, I simply remind them that their children and just little people. They still have the same feelings as we adults do, and those feelings are often amplified because they are in new situations all of the time and still learning social skills. If you want happy students and respectful kids - all you have to do is be that which you want them to be and communicate that to them in every single thing that you do.
This past week, I have heard of a local school here in Florida that has a 'desk on the back' form of discipline. The concept behind it is based on the idea that children must carry everything they own and use at school (from textbooks to pencils) back and forth in their backpacks for a minimum period of one week. The idea of the 'discomfort' is to instill in the child that 'bad' behavior is not acceptable and that the discomfort of lugging everything will create the memory and habit to behave more appropriately the next time. If the lesson is not learned within one week, then the discipline is extended for two weeks and so on.
When I first heard this, I literally cringed. I pictured my own child walking home bent over from the weight of his backpack the beginning of the year when he took his textbooks home. He only has a short distance from the bus stop, but if he had to do that for even a week straight - my fear of physical damage to his posture and back would cause me to drive him daily and approach the school about other options. My advice to any teacher who uses this form of discipline is to be very careful - you are walking on very thin ice here on the boarder of corporal punishment. Instilling pain on children - or anyone - is not acceptable behavior. As other parents realize this practice is taking place, I assure you the repercussions for your particular location will not be pleasant. I have seen many upset students, but they do not compare to upset parents. Issues like these can not only have parents show up in your front office, but also lawyers.
Here are a few facts to keep in mind with regard to using this type of discipline:
- 10,000 injuries were caused by heavy backpacks in 2005
- 15% or less of the students body weight is the MOST a backpack should weigh
- Students aged 7 to 10 are the host high risk group for injuries from stress on the spine
"Heavy backpacks can distort the natural curves in the middle and lower back causing muscle strain and irritation to the spine, joints and ribcage...Physical Therapist, Missy Caywood said that if children are not careful, these injuries would follow into adulthood and could remain permanent" (KUJH-TV News, University of Kansas, 11/08/06)
As an educator, I realize that discipline is an area that is difficult for teachers. Everyday, the rules change. However, if you simply take the time out to be more aware, you will often find that your classroom runs smoother. If you enter a behavior situation with calmness, understanding and humor, you can usually get your point across and not adversely affect the situation. Use your common sense. I remember substituting in a school a few years ago, and watching situations develop with a particular student day after day. The teacher had enough, and was getting to the end of her rope. I asked if I could have a few moments with the student, and she agreed. I sat next to his desk and asked him why he was so upset. After the 'Everybody picks on me and hates me', I took the time to ask who 'everybody' was. 'Everybody' was one other student in another classroom. I humorously asked him if he could project his anger through concrete walls and when he looked at me like I was nuts, I told him that was his problem. Every time he was trying to get back at the other kid, his anger was hitting the teacher and him and causing an argument. I suggested he either learn telekinesis or mention the situation with the other student to his teacher. Following that discussion, he was much more calm, he did not retaliate the other student involved, and he learned to speak up not scream out. The teacher, was amazed at how easy it was to change the behavior - no detention, no yelling, no humiliation - just communication and humor.
Speaking of detention - there is an effective way to use detention and many not-so-effective ways to use detention. I have heard of students being required as part of their detention to clean garbage from the school yard. This, in itself, may seem like it is a win-win situation, but I have been on the school yard and watched what can happen with this form of discipline. Often, the students are chastised and humiliated by their peers. They are made fun of, called names, and be-littled. To me, is no different than public humiliations from hundreds of years ago when people were made public spectacles by throwing rotten fruit and vegetables at them. This leaves mental scars on our children and that is not acceptable either. Further, it can create a behavior boomerang. Students can feel belittled, so they act out even more with anger at being humiliated in the first place. If it continues, the 'bad' behavior is re-inforced and becomes a permanent habit. Not good. Use detention to get extra work done - on areas that the student requires help in. That means relationship building skills and foundations too - not just math. As a teacher, it is your responsibility to distinguish the needs of your students and supply the resources. That was, I hope, the passion and reason you became a teacher to begin with. There are more resources available to teachers now than ever before - use them.
These ideas do not always work, I realize, and I am not making light of situations. Violence in classrooms does occur, and teachers need to be prepared for that. However, often if the educator is very aware and time is taken when the 'small stuff' starts, discipline can often be very easy. If an educator takes the time to learn about awareness in themselves, they can often create amazing learning settings with positive outcomes. There also needs to be continuous communication - and not just be email and 'open house' nights. Parents and teachers need to talk face-to-face. Whenever I have been asked by parents about how I 'get along so well' with kids, I simply remind them that their children and just little people. They still have the same feelings as we adults do, and those feelings are often amplified because they are in new situations all of the time and still learning social skills. If you want happy students and respectful kids - all you have to do is be that which you want them to be and communicate that to them in every single thing that you do.
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